The Shutter Tally: February Was the Cruelest Month - NBC New York

The Shutter Tally: February Was the Cruelest Month

    processing...

    NEWSLETTERS

    The Shutter Tally: February Was the Cruelest Month

    Suba has gone to meet the great tapas maker in the sky.

    Good morning and welcome to March, the third month of this year. Thank god it wasn't a leap year because I'm not sure if the restaurant industry could have handled one more day of February slaughter.

    Here we remember the restaurants that have passed away. [If you really want to bum yourself out, play this song as you read through.]

    A is for Ambrosia, once sweet but since soured.
    B is for Bull Run once for brokers, now broke and deflowered.
    C is for Cafe De Nova, old and now ova.
    D is for Dunkin Donuts, Feldshuht just like Tovah
    E is for Theee Coffee Chamber, five e's now on the street
    F is for FR.OG, poorly punctuated conceit.
    G is for La Goulou, a glutton who died of starvation
    H is for How Sweet it Is, or Was but now: Desperation
    I is for irony for NoNo, now isn't
    J is for jobless, which many chefs are in this instance
    K is for the killer who did in Lunetta
    L is for El Atazcoan whose odds were against it
    M is for Empanada Joes, whose crusted enclosures have finally collapsed
    N is for no faith, if Miracle Grill was catholic, it would now be lapsed.
    O is for the oysters at Docks which will now go unshucked
    P is for Spicy Pickle, a sub-selling deli that sold none and got fucked
    Q for Bar Q, Anita Lo's venture that made Bleecker St bleaker
    R is for RIP: Le Gamin, Cookout Grill et al who've all gone out feet first, led by the economy's sneaker.
    S is for Sober which we've been more of since Vin Rouge's passing
    T is for Tragedie. Fleur de Sel's death left us gasping
    U is for those unlisted who didn't fit into this rubric
    V is for Via Oreto, eyes wide shuttered just like in Kubrick
    W is for all the Whisky LeNell will no longer be selling
    X is for exiled tribesmen, homeless since Tribe's felling
    Y is for Yorganic, the canary of the trend we all thought was dumb
    Z is for Zero to which One Ten Grill now add up to in sum.

    [Moment of silence.]

    Copyright © 2009 Eater