Tyra's ushering in a cast of shorties for the thirteenth season of America's Next Top Model. And if that's not enough to get you to watch, she's got a veritable army of glitterati scheduled to come in and guest judge them. Troops include Lauren Conrad, Chanel Iman, Kim Kardashian, Jessica White, Marisa Miller, and others. Tyra needed the boldest of boldface names to join Nigel Barker, J. Alexander, and her on the judging panel after she laid off Paulina Porizkova. Likewise, Chanel Iman and Lauren Conrad needed Tyra to keep their television careers alive. Chanel has basically been off the air since MTV stopped rerunning its revived House of Style, which Chanel didn't even host but merely reported for. And Lauren Conrad is off The Hills and has nothing to do but sell contact-lens solution, so she may as well go look at a bunch of short girls and give them something to aspire to, since they're about as likely to become real fashion models as Rachel Zoe is to burn her entire stash of vintage caftans. But what really gets us is that all the accomplished guest judges are on the same playing field as Kim Kardashian, whose incomprehensibly fame-worthy accomplishments include only having a big butt and getting it Photoshopped, as far as we can tell. But a quick Google search reveals Kardashian is only 5' 2.5" (right, and we're 5' 9.68973"), so at least she can show the short contestants that even if they're short and can't be models, they can still make something of themselves, on E! if they're lucky.
Here's the guest-judging schedule for you to put on your calendar in its entirety.
• Chanel Iman (September 9)
• Lauren Conrad (September 16)
• Jaime Rishar (September 23)
• China Chow (September 30)
• Josie Maran (October 7)
• Jessica White (October 14)
• Kim Kardashian (October 21)
• Kirsty Hume (October 28)
• Marisa Miller (November 4)
• Ann Shoket, EIC of Seventeen (November 11)
Previously on The Cut...
- Simon Doonan Defends Ed Hardy
- New September Covers: Leighton Meester for Harper’s Bazaar and Jennifer Aniston for Elle
- Sarah Jessica Parker Doesn’t Necessarily Sell More Hair Dye Than Models Do