PRIVATE EYES: While we're having trouble taking John Oates seriously since he shaved his porny mustache, hearing he and Daryl Hall cover their boppy repertoire at the Fillmore should make for a very good time indeed. 8PM.
C'MON BARBIE, LET'S GO PARTY: sideBAR hosts Barbie's 50th Birthday Beauty Pageant. Aside from enjoying an evening's worth of Barbie-themed entertainment, if you come dressed as the busty plastic icon, you could win dinner, a bar tab, and more. 7PM.
SMACKDOWN: Gimlet-eyed provocateur Bill Maher and witchy comedienne Ann Coulter face off at Radio City Music Hall's the Minds That Move the World Speaker Series. We're drooling so much over this one, we're going to need a bib. 8PM.