Free Sample of No. 2 Left on Porch

Alleged saleswoman drops steamy surprise

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    NEWSLETTERS

    SouthParkStudios.com
    Howdy ho! We've got a free goodie for you.

    The vilest form of doorbell ditch has been perpetrated on an innocent woman.

    After a Florida woman heard her doorbell ring, she looked out the window and saw a red Jeep Cherokee blocking her drive. Not recognizing the vehicle, she didn't bother answering her door on Wednesday.

    Soon after, a friend stopped by and made her aware of a "human bowel movement" with a "repugnant" odor sitting on the porch, according to the TC Palm. Next to the feces was a wad of toilet paper with which police believe "the suspect attempted to clean themselves."

    A neighbor then told her that she saw a heavy set woman who had tried to sell her Mary Kay products drive off in the Jeep.

    The victim told police the smell was "overwhelming and she had to clean it as soon as possible," according to the TC Palm.

    There are no suspects and there was inexplicably no evidence collected.