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House Republican Minority Leader John Boehner will be here all week, on Twitter. Please tip your waitress.
At least that's according to a study titled "Twongress: The Power of Twitter in Congress" that finds...
Wait, did someone really just use the word "Twongress?"
We are all doomed.
Anyway, the study, from Mark Senak of public relations firm Fleishman-Hillard, finds that Republicans have sent 29,162 messages to Twitter compared to only 5,503 sent by Democrats. And Republicans follow 10 times more Twitter users.
Particularly popular is Ohio Republican congressional leader John Boehner, who has the most followers in the House of Representatives with 19,713.
That's 99.6 percent fewer than former male model Ashton Kutcher has.
Of course, this is all probably due to the fact that Democrats control both houses of the legislature, and therefore can express themselves through having actual power over our lives instead of whining in 140-character bursts like a minority opposition party normally does in the national press, which is dying.
For instance, San Francisco representative and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi does not use Twitter, because she doesn't have to -- her seat is assured by a district that reelects her with near-dictatorial margins every two years.
And if she wants to say something, she says it to Barack Obama, or in a press conference broadcast on CNN -- not to the 1,546 followers of the unofficial Nancy Pelosi News account.
It does suggest that Republicans aren't as tone-deaf when it comes to social media as they are often portrayed as being, a reputation which stems from Barack Obama's Facebook-friendly campaign in 2007 and 2008.
But since nobody truly has a million followers, and even San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom found out that Twitter isn't the fountain of campaign cash that his advisors thought it might be, who cares?
The only thing anyone really needs to hear from or about our representatives in Congress is how they vote on the laws under which we are governed (and who paid them to vote that way).
You don't see any social media gurus and PR people championing the Washington Post's congressional vote database, do you?
Nah, let's ignore the billions congress keeps voting to spend on pointless ongoing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and let's all talk about Twitter!
Jackson West admits there is an upside to congresscritters blathering away on Twitter, which is they are bound to say hilariously stupid and offensive and have to resign eventually.