Super Bowl Media Day is a strange little happening.
Ostensibly, it is a way to get the hordes of reporters covering the game face time with each of the teams to build stories about the game. In reality, it is just a celebration of football's primacy in the American sports scene as everyone and anyone tangentially related to the media flows through the doors to ask players about a million different things.
As you can tell by the picture of Victor Cruz in a sombrero, those things strayed pretty far from the X's and O's.
We've sifted through the questions and answers to bring you the necessary takeaways from the afternoon. We can't promise they'll help you figure out who will win the game, but it was entertaining.
The Giants Worry About the Offensive Line - Lost in the five-game winning streak for the Giants has been the fact that their offensive line hasn't played nearly as well as the rest of the club. Offensive coordinator Kevin Gilbride admitted he's worried about the group and that might just be the only worthwhile takeaway from Tuesday's extravaganza.
Jason Pierre-Paul is Comfortable in the Spotlight - Pierre-Paul's breakout year on the field was followed by a breakout performance at Media Day. He shared his nickname for himself -- "The Haitian Sensation" t-shirts are coming soon -- and even spoke in Creole for an audience that couldn't get enough of the Giants star.
Indianapolis Loves Their Mannings - Having fans in the audience for Media Day was a new twist this year, a twist that tells us not to believe a word any sports fan says about abandoning a sport because of a lockout as we now know that they are willing to pay good money to watch men get interviewed. The fans in attendance were wearing a lot of Colts gear and they cheered loudly when Eli Manning complimented his big brother, a sure sign that the Giants will be the de facto home team this weekend.
Eli Manning Loves Modern Family - Media Day isn't just about football, in fact it is barely about football. As evidence we present the note that Eli is a big fan of Phil Dunphy from the ABC sitcom, which reveals a decent taste in comedy and nothing of use to those handicapping the game.
Osi Umenyiora Knows How to Hold a Grudge - Umenyiora and Patriots tackle Matt Light have had some spirited matchups over the years so Umenyiora was naturally asked about Light's absence from the Patriots session because of illness. He wished him a return to health with all the sincerity of a politician trying to get your vote.
Brandon Jacobs Wants to Leave on a High Note - There's a pretty good chance that the Super Bowl will be Jacobs' last game as a member of the Giants and, if so, he wants to go out with a bang. "I am playing in the Super Bowl for the New York Giants, and if that is the way it is, there is nothing I can do. I am trying to do as best I can to help this team win."
The Giants are Looking Forward to Facing Julian Edelman - The Patriots wide receiver-turned-defensive back was a popular subject of questions for the wide receivers. They all struggled to hide their glee at being covered by the guy who spent the AFC Championship Game getting chewed up by Joe Flacco's handlebar mustache.
Hakeem Nicks Likes a Big Watch - This tells us absolutely nothing about who is going to win the Super Bowl, obviously, but it bears mentioning that the Giants wide receiver wears what appears to be a diamond encrusted hubcap on his wrist. If the Giants do win the Super Bowl, Nicks will have to wear the ring on the other side to save himself from serious spinal damage.