The Best Keith Hernandez Movie You'll Ever See

A celebration and condemnation of Mets icon

By JOSH ALPER

Updated 2:34 PM EST, Mon, Jun 22, 2009

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In 2007, filmmaker Rob Perri introduced a 19-minute "documentary" about Keith Hernandez to the film festival circuit. Unfortunately that didn't lead to any studio interest or long runs in theatres, which means that a lot of people weren't able to experience Perri's masterful work. Thankfully, that's changed.

"I'm Keith Hernandez" can now be viewed online, and it's not to be missed by anyone who enjoys Hernandez, the Mets, moustaches, painfully awkward anti-drug public service announcements, Tom Selleck or a certain episode of "Seinfeld." The film, narrated in the style of "Behind the Music," celebrates Hernandez's unbridled machismo, chides his off-field drug problems and explores what makes a hero.

Here's Perri's own description of the film:

By examining the aforementioned types of media in conjunction with Lacan’s “Mirror Theory”, a clearer picture of masculinity emerges.As part of this discourse, the physical attribute of the mustache is explored as a symbol of male virility. Other topics include the Iran/Contra Affair and the resulting “Crack Explosion”, celebrity obsessed culture, and the subtleties of children’s television programming.

And here's perhaps the best part, which speaks to Hernandez's ability to inspire others.

Hernandez would also offer guidance to fellow New York first baseman Don Mattingly by telling him about the secret power of the mustache.

Keith explained to Mattingly that with the recent success of Magnum P.I., it would be foolish not to capitalize on the possibility of being attractive by association. And after taking Hernandez's advice, Mattingly certainly bagged more babes, but he also bagged more bases.

And that's set against the music from the opening theme of "Magnum P.I." and intercut with clips of that other moustachioed icon of 80's masculinity.

That's all we'll share here, because attempts at describing this marvelous mash-up of game highlights, interviews, TV clips and porn films (yes, and we should mention that the video isn't all that safe for work) set to a kicking soundtrack will inevitably fall short. Just know that Perri has made one of the more entertaining, humorous and creative short films ever made about Keith Hernandez.

Josh Alper is a writer living in New York City and is a contributor to FanHouse.com and ProFootballTalk.com in addition to his duties for NBCNewYork.com.