There are times in life when you wish that telegrams were still the preferred way to transmit information across long distances.
How fun would it be to use Western Union to tell a Yankee fan in Australia about the first series of the 2010 season?
"CC Sabathia blows 5-1 lead in opener STOP"
A brief profanity might ensue as our hypothetical Yankee fan imagines the scene at Fenway Park when the big lefty falls apart on Opening night. It's just one game, though, and things have to get better from here on out.
"Nick Johnson, Mark Teixeira and Alex Rodriguez combine to go 2-for-36 in three games STOP"
The cursing's a bit louder now, people looking up from their Vegemite in astonishment at the foul-mouthed American in their midst. The man's a half a world away yet he can feel the venom spewing from the back pages after such a miserable opening salvo from the defending champions.
"Yankees take two of three, beat Papelbon in extra innings of third game STOP"
How great would that be? Just about as great as the opening series went for the Yankees. Damn you technology for ruining all the fun!
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Well, not all the fun. Curtis Granderson's home run to beat Jonathan Papelbon on Wednesday night was about as fun as baseball gets. He hasn't done much to allay fears that lefties will eat him up this season, but we'll swallow that shortcoming if he keeps blasting homers when he's facing pitchers who throw from the starboard side.
The troubles mentioned above aren't ones that feel particularly troubling. Sabathia will be better and if Andy Pettitte's start Wednesday wasn't quite a surprise, it was a best case scenario come to life. Mark Teixeira and A-Rod are going to start hitting at some point. Nick Johnson might not, but he'll still get on base more often than guys who do so it's all good.
Plus, you know, they won twice and that makes it hard to get too worried about anything outside of other funny things to report via outmoded forms of communication.
Josh Alper is a writer living in New York City and is a contributor to FanHouse.com and ProFootballTalk.com in addition to his duties for NBCNewYork.com.
