Power rankings. You hate them. They’re so arbitrary and pointless, especially when they include all 32 NFL teams. All you want to know after a good week of NFL action is who the bestest team in the NFL right now, and which one is the absolute barrel-scraping worst. The one so terrible, Bob Costas is grilling it on TV tonight. That’s why we have TOP AND BOTTOM OF THE NFL, where we go to great lengths to tell you who’s the top dog in football right now, this very minute. LET’S GO!
THE TOP: Green Bay Packers
Oh, great. Now they can play defense. WE'RE ALL DOOMED.
I'm a Vikings fan, so I spent most of last night mortified. I wasn't even angry at the Vikings. It was more like, "Oh Mr. Rodgers, I'm so sorry my boys couldn't give you a more spirited challenge as you make your inevitable run to consecutive Super Bowl titles. My apologies."
It's humiliating to see your losing team go up against a squad that has its act together. About the only solace I take in the Packers' dominance is that they can't run the ball, but even that's something of an illusion. Because once in a while, James Starks will bust out a back-breaking run at the EXACT RIGHT TIME. It's uncanny how often he can do that. I used to think that the Packers were doing you a favor any time they ran the ball, but it's clear they're just toying with you, so that when Starks kills the clock with an 11-yard first down, you REALLY feel pathetic. Fun!
THE BOTTOM: Indianapolis Colts
Here's my question: Does Peyton Manning even WANT to be a Colt next season?
The man is thirty-six years old and just discovered how truly pathetic his supporting cast is. Why would he want to come back to that? Why wouldn't he politely ask to be traded to the Jets instead?
Manning has been propping up this shanty for a long time now, and the guy is running out of time. He shouldn't have to take part in a wholesale rebuilding project, and he shouldn't be forced to get the absolute maximum out of a barren roster. He's one of the best QBs of his generation. He deserves better.