The Daily News came up with a bold attempt to write about Alex Rodriguez's love life without making it look like they were engaging in gossip on Tuesday. Their crack staff reports that since A-Rod and Kate Hudson went public with their relationship on July 25th, Rodriguez's game has taken off. To prove their point, they cite Rodriguez's .286 batting average since that date.
While that's nearly 30 points above A-Rod's season to date, it ignores some other facts (and we won't even get into the nature of small sample sizes) that work against their thesis. Chief among those is that Rodriguez's power has gone south since July 25th, including a goodly chunk of his career-worst 72 at-bat streak without a home run. That contributes to a slugging percentage that's more than 80 points off his season total. If that's not enough, his on-base percentage is also down, even though his batting average has gone up.
So, if one really wanted to ascribe anything to Hudson, it would seem appropriate to blame her for being a power-robbing jezebel who is keeping A-Rod from doing what he's paid to do. And that, obviously, is ridiculous. Hudson's not helping A-Rod, she's not hurting A-Rod and that's not going to change how much some would love to find something other than baseball to discuss about A-Rod despite his admirable refusal to become tabloid fodder this season.
Now, having seen Alex up close, I can tell you exactly about his face. Never having shared a urinal with him, I cannot tell you about his other varying parts. I am now told, however -- and reliably so -- that there are reasons he scores big in RBIs.
Thank goodness we've cleared that up, because it was getting a bit uncomfortable to think that people weren't spying on A-Rod while he was using a urinal. Society has, thankfully, regained its bearings.