Attention, World: Donovan McNabb Is Useless

Why no one should sign the ex-Viking

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    NEWSLETTERS

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    CHICAGO, IL - OCTOBER 16: Donovan McNabb #5 of the Minnesota Vikings is sacked by Israel Idonije #71 of the Chicago Bears and Stephen Paea #92 at Soldier Field on October 16, 2011 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)

    I was watching “Pardon The Interruption” yesterday when Tony and Wilbon had on Ron Jaworski to come out and say all kinds of Ron Jaworski “National Football League” things. And the subject quickly turned to the recently released Donovan McNabb, and Jaws basically said that he thought Donovan was still a very good QB (using Jaws’ classic “the quarterback position” lingo), and that he had studied the tape of every snap of his this season and thought he had done an excellent job for the Vikings.

    Okay.

    Deep breath.

    (puts on ranting pants)

    RON JAWORSKI IS LYING TO AMERICA. I have no idea what tape of McNabb he was watching. He must’ve taken a tape of Cam Newton and marked over Newton’s jersey with a wide purple crayon. But I saw PLENTY of Donovan McNabb this season, and I promise you he was awful. Oh his NUMBERS were okay. He hit on 60% of his passes and his TD:INT ratio was 2:1. But I promise you, those numbers give you NO IDEA of the width and breadth of this man’s suckitude. Donovan McNabb is where offenses go to DIE. He was incapable of completing a third down pass for Minnesota. INCAPABLE. For the past two years, he has presided over historically bad offenses, and yet somehow his buddies in the media never see fit to blame him for those failures. Well, I do. I totally blame him. ALL DONOVAN. Do you think he’s going to magically make an offense better after what we’ve seen the past two seasons? Only an IDIOT would think that.

    It doesn’t matter which team signs McNabb, be it the Texans or Bears or whoever needs a QB. McNabb won’t help them. He’s old. He’s inaccurate. He can’t complete a pass longer than five yards. He’s USELESS. Signing him is like signing a paperweight to your roster. No one should pay any attention to what McNabb does next, because what he does next will be playing QB terribly. The man is finished. Please treat him as such.