It’s with a heavy heart that I deliver some distressing news: The New York Giants are done playing football for 2014. Moreover, the Giants will not be playing meaningful football for the first eight months of 2015. In short, the Giants are asking you for a trial separation, a time for you to regroup, sow your oats, and decide if you want to resume this relationship sometime around Labor Day 2015.
Go ahead, see what’s out there. Spend January and February flirting with other teams – ya know, playoff teams – but try to keep one eye on your existing relationship. Unless, like me, you have an open relationship with the Giants and are willing to sell your allegiance to the flavor of the month.
Team loyalty? Bah, what is this, the 1970s? We swing now, baby.
If you’re a bit discouraged by the team’s 2014 season, well, I’m not here to remind you of all the worst things about the team. No, no, I’m here to point out the best. So let’s do this:
Best team in Giants history: Probably played some other year.
Best thing about the end of the Giants’ 2014 season: No more losing!
Best surprise in the first half of the 2014 season: Larry Donnell.
Local
Best disappearing act in the second half: Donnell.
Best reason for that: He misplaced his hands and never found them again.
Best man to lead the Giants in 2015: Apparently Tom Coughlin.
Best secondary the Giants have had in a while: Didn't play together very long thanks to injuries.
Best performance against the Giants this year: The 350 rushing yards by the Seahawks in Week 10.
Best comeback in Jaguars history: Came when the Giants surrendered a 21-0 lead on November 30.
Best QBR of Eli Manning’s career: 98.1 in 2014.
Best consecutive starting streak among NFL quarterbacks: Manning.
Best team that played home games at MetLife Stadium this year: The Giants.
Best dance we never saw after Victor Cruz went down with an injury: The salsa.
Best time for the Giants to enter the 1970s and get some cheerleaders: How about now?
Best hold your breath: The Giants like to think of themselves as too old school and classy for cheerleaders.
Best word for Giants’ 24-24 all-time playoff record: Meh.
Best point differential since winning their last Super Bowl: -20 in 2014.
Best logo they could come up with: Seriously, the team replaced the word “Giants” (which was underlined) with an “NY” (which is also underlined)?
Best get over it: I know, I know, they replaced the logo years ago, but boring never dies.Best rusher on the Giants: Was a rookie, Andre Williams.
Best receiver on the Giants: I don’t know, jury’s still out on that one.
Best Giants rookie ever: Still Lawrence Taylor.
Best Giants rookie ever (judging strictly by name): Ali Haji-Sheihk.
Best catch you've ever seen: Odell Beckham Jr.’s one-handed catch against the Cowboys.
Best you've ever seen is something better: Really? If so, please send me the video at cdavidmartin@yahoo.com.
Best record that the Giants had at some point this season: 3-2.
Best way to describe the Giants’ organization: The Feast-or-Famine Franchise.
Best believe it: Two-time Super Bowl MVP Eli Manning is a future Hall of Famer.
Best be updating his resume: Defensive coordinator Perry Fewell might be this year’s designated fall guy.
Best young receiving corps in football: Rueben Randle, who had more than 900 yards receiving and is only 23, will be the No. 3 receiver when Victor Cruz returns.
Best consequence of the Giants’ injured-filled season: Backups got a lot of experience.
Best thing about drafting No. 9 in the upcoming draft: Beckham, taken at No. 12 last year, proved that top-tier talent can fall.
Best hope that one of the eight wide receivers ahead of Beckham bows out of the Pro Bowl: Otherwise the Giants won’t have a Pro Bowler for the first time since 1996.
Best opportunity for the Patriots to end their Super Bowl-winning drought: Because they can’t lose another Super Bowl to the Giants.
