Hipster Grifter Freed -- Now What?

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    NEWSLETTERS

    Kari Farrell's wanted poster from the Salt Lake City Police Department

    Lock your doors and keep your pants on -- Kari Ferrell, the "Hipster Grifter," is free!

    Animal reports the former Vice employee and heart-breaking, money-swindling Williamsburg-based criminal "was released from her Salt Lake City jail cell early this morning," after a six month stay in the slammer.

    After a summer of snail mail correspondence with bloggers, a featured report on ABC News, and her very own "Law & Order" episode, the media-beloved young lady will most likely now return to New York to claim her throne atop… something.

    If she's not immediately hired by Gawker Media to be some kind of fool-hardy correspondent, the Kari Ferrell Return Tour will most likely commence within days, soon to be followed by book deals, TV cameos, and a bronze-encrusted statue overlooking the corner of Bedford and North 7th in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

    Or maybe, she'll just softly float away. A feature in The Daily Beast earlier this month showed a different Kari than we've been following since the original Observer piece surfaced last April. Asked, "What do you think will be different about you once you get out," Kari answered, "I hope to show people how truly sorry I am for the terrible mistakes I’ve made." And if we've learned one thing from this whole shebang of a story, it's that Grifter, my friend, does not make a compelling media narrative.

    So now, with the Grifter freed and a nearly bone-dry teat that shall no longer be suckled, let us begin the search anew for another attractive and semi-compelling criminal to obsess over.