Rod Blagojevich, America's Sweetheart | NBC New York

Rod Blagojevich, America's Sweetheart

Farewell, sweet clown of Chicago

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    The former governor's eloquence was exceeded only by his honesty.

    He parachuted into our hearts just a few short months ago. With Rod Blagojevich forcibly removed from office, America has lost one of its bravest crusaders for justice.

    He was crushed, like a butterfly, beneath the boot of the oppressive Chicago Machine, and now he has to go do whatever for a living instead of being our nation's proudest governor.

    Just a couple of years ago you could have bet he'd launch a happy second career as a contestant on one of those reality shows where people get buried in a pit of snakes wearing nothing but a loincloth and a coating of beef juice, for laughs. But those sadistic shows have fallen by the wayside and now all you can find on your average weekday night is some old football player limping around a dance floor to "Staying Alive" with a half-naked sequined Russian lady on his arm. So maybe Blago can do that instead! He certainly has the hair for D-list celebrity entertainment.

    But before he shuffles off to whatever netherworld of obscurity awaits him, let's take a moment to remember all the wonderful things he did for our country. This venal dingus taught us all to laugh again, at him. He taught us that pleading one's case in public is no substitute for pleading one's case in front of one's actual accusers, such as the Illinois State Senate. And he taught us that grit, determination, and perseverance, when combined with egomania, entitlement, and an extremely salty vocabulary, can help any man ascend the ranks of American politics, and then get booted.

    Sara K. Smith also writes for Wonkette.  She does not actually care for this Rod Blagojevich character so much!