November 21, 2009
This movie wasn't good enough to be released in theaters, but Lifetime is taking some initiative and airing Personal Effects (Lifetime, 9 PM), an Ashton Kutcher and Michelle Pfeiffer sobfest about (what else?) a younger man falling in love with a much older woman.
Dear Joseph Gordon Levitt, I believe in you. Please be funny on Saturday Night Live (NBC, 11:30 PM) this week. Love, Heather. P.S. Dave Matthews, will you please play a 17-minute version of "#41"? Just consider it.
November 22, 2009
Yay, an awards show! The American Music Awards (ABC, 8 PM) will feature a Taylor Swift/Lady Gaga showdown. By the way, this is the award shaped like a narrow glass pyramid, for some odd reason.
Will everything work out for a Seinfeld reunion show? Watch the seventh season finale of Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO, 9 PM) to find out.
On My Fair Wedding (WE, 10 PM), Christina had planned to have her wedding on a Mexican beach, but the swine flu outbreak caused her to move it to a beach in... New Jersey.
November 23, 2009
Interested in seeing Lewis Black rant about the holidays? History Special: Surviving the Holidays with Lewis Black (History, 8 PM) will have the comedian explore the meaning behind the madness behind Thanksgiving football, who St. Nicholas really was, and why we drink on New Year's Day.
Barney fears a slapping from any one of his friends on How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8 PM). Also, Lily's estranged father (Chris Elliott) shows up for the Thanksgiving victuals.
The end of an era is here. The last episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8 (TLC, 9 PM) airs tonight. I still don't have the feeling that it's over, but for now, let's hope it is.
In the vein of feel-good reality shows, Find My Family (ABC, 9:30 PM) airs as a sneak preview tonight. On this show, people search for their long-lost family members (and cause viewers to break out the Kleenex).
Nerd-fantasy girl Katee Sackhoff will magically find her way into Howard's bathtub on The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 9:30 PM). Starbuck fans, take note.
November 24, 2009
Who among Donny Osmond, Mya, and Kelly Osbourne will reign supreme on the finale of Dancing with the Stars (ABC, 9 PM)? I think Donny needs to give it up.
That was fast. The winter season finale of V (ABC, 8 PM) airs tonight. New episodes will return in March.
For some odd reason, Chelsea Handler will guest star as herself on The Good Wife (CBS, 10 PM), because Peter's mistress appears on her show. Alicia then runs into said mistress in a parking garage. Ooh, bish, plz.
November 25, 2009
On a two-hour "Where are they now?" edition of The Biggest Loser (NBC, 8 PM), we catch up with the most popular contestants from the last seven seasons. But of course we're only interested in what they look like now.
Annoying Lindsay leaves her husband and moves in with Christine, her "divorcee role model," on The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS, 8 PM).
In the 100th episode of Criminal Minds, C. Thomas Howell (who will forever be Ponyboy, in my mind) returns as "The Reaper," a crazed serial killer out to kill Hotchner's family (CBS, 9 PM).
November 26, 2009
My guiltiest pleasure, Beyoncé, has a nice little Thanksgiving special this year. Beyoncé: I Am Yours (ABC, 9 PM) will have behind-the-scenes footage in addition to singing and dancing.
Matt Lauer takes a cue from Baba Wawa with his own NBC Special: NBC's People of the Year (NBC, 9 PM).
Another music special could be an option for those who are not fans of Beyoncé. Great Performances: Sting: A Winter's Night (PBS, 9 PM) will have Sting singing in an English cathedral. Damn, he probably won't be able to play "Roxanne" in a church.
And yet another Thanksgiving concert special! Paul McCartney: Good Evening New York (ABC, 10 PM) is self-explanatory.
November 27, 2009
In a much more realistic look at family dysfunction, a fifth season of Shameless (Sundance, 8 PM) premieres tonight. There's cussing, fighting and no laugh track. It's just like everyone else's family, but with heavy northern British accents.
For more from Television Without Pity: