In the year 3000, the Miss Universe pageant will be won by a giant purple paramecium from Vega 4, but for now the competition is limited to Earth, which means that the winner will be one of the 84 competitors/swimsuit models from 84 different countries.
Some of you will be tuning in to hear what these likely vapid ladies will have to say about current events, others will come primarily for the swimsuit competition, but you may want to watch just for the judges and the musical guests, who are a pretty motley crew this year. (We're assuming nobody is tuning in for hosts Billy Bush or Claudia Jordan of Celebrity Apprentice fame.)
The musical guests for the evening will be the rapper Flo Rida (who probably asked specifically to go on during the swimsuit competition, since that's when he'll perform), Fashion Show co-host Kelly Rowland and The Hills star Heidi Pratt, who'll be singing her new single, "Body Language."
It should be pretty magical.
As far as judges, you've got actor Dean Cain, actress Tamara Tunie (Law & Order: SVU), photographer Matthew Rolston, supermodel Valeria Mazza and a bunch of rich people with funny names (George Maloof, Richard LeFrak). I don't know about you, but that sounds like must-see TV to me.
The Miss Universe Pageant airs tonight at 9/8C on NBC.
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