Reeling from her recent split with hubby Jon, reality TV mom Kate Gosselin said she feels like she failed as a mother and a wife.
"On a good day, I feel relief," she told People magazine in its latest issue. "On a bad day, I feel failure."
The reality TV parents of eight filed for a no-fault divorce on Monday in a court outside Philadelphia the same day they announced the highly publicized split on TLC's "Jon & Kate Plus 8" -- an episode that drew 10.6 million viewers.
Kate said in divorce papers her 10-year marriage to Jon is "irretrievably broken" and that she's willing to "negotiate a fair and reasonable" settlement with her hubby.
"I'm tired of smiling on the outside and crying on the inside," Kate said on the show. "I've been doing that for a long time."
Kate has been spotted wearing her wedding band and refuses to take off the ring because she's "not ready" and was afraid it would "devastate" her kids, senior People editor Kate Coyne told the "Today" show on Wednesday.
"Jon has wanted this for a long time," Coyne said. "He said, 'We're doing it. I got a lawyer. You better get one.' And she did."
The couple will split the time they spent in their sprawling $1.1 million estate in Pennsylvania so that their children -- a set of 8-year-old twins and 5-year-old sextuplets -- will not have to be shuttled back and forth.
Kate, 34, said in a statement released to the media that "Jon's activities" had left her "no choice but to file legal procedures in order to protect myself and my children."
"To be honest, I was hurt by Kate's statement about the divorce," the father of eight retorted in a statement. "I have always done everything I can to protect our family. This weekend, I was home with the kids for four days, just being a dad. No nannies, just the kids and me."
It's unclear what's next for the show -- which will be on hiatus until Aug. 3 -- but a source said Jon's reported gal pal Deanna Hummel will join the cast next season, according to the New York Daily News.
"Deanna's role isn't expected to be big, but because she's part of Jon's life, she'll be filmed," an insider told the paper.
The network will not air new episodes of the show during the hiatus but instead a retrospective on the couple's marriage.
"During this time, the family will take some time off to regroup," a rep for TLC told the Daily News. "We have no specific plans for future episodes."
The pair may be in the business of splitting assets but they recently invested in four, custom-made playhouses that cost a total of $28,000, ABC News reported.
The set included a haunted house, pirate ship, veterinary clinic and garden shop -- all at about $7,000 apiece.