Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and wash the car. Few things are more satisfying than spraying your car with the hose and wasting 500,000 gallons of fresh water in the process. LET’S GO!
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS – 8:00PM Tonight (NBC) NBC's newest comedy not only shares the exact same title as the new Justin Timberlake/Mila Kunis film, it shares the exact same premise as well, with a boy and a girl hopping into bed together but staying "just friends." It will shock you to learn that THIS SITUATION IS NOT TENABLE. And why didn't they retitle the thing? Do they think so little of it that they couldn't be bothered to give the show a title of its own, like "Strictly Casual," or "Hey! We're Bumpin' Uglies!"? You get the pilot tonight and then one bonus episode afterward, so savor the flavor, because this show probably won't stick around for very long. For you see, I want to watch this show, but without all the pesky romantic attachments to it. ANTICIPATION: WATCH WITH BENEFITS!
WHO IS SIMON MILLER? – 8:00PM Saturday (NBC) It's a good old fashioned TV movie, this one about a geologist who goes missing. Turns out he's led a secret double life the whole time. Ready for this? He was a geologist AND a paleontologist. Slippery bastard! ANTICIPATION: INTRIGUE!
HILLBILLY HANDFISHIN' – 10:00PM Sunday (Animal Planet) It's the long-awaited premiere of this docuseries about a group of Oklahoma fishermen who catch catfish with their BARE HANDS. No rods. No reels. That's for city folk. Out here, you done catch them with your hand or your teeth, or you ain't no fisherman. ANTICIPATION: NO WONDER IT LASTS AN HOUR!
INTO THE UNIVERSE WITH STEPHEN HAWKING – 9:30PM Sunday (Discovery) The Discovery family of networks is getting all deep with you Sunday night, featuring a special across three networks debating Stephen Hawking theories on God (he doesn't believe in Him), then this 90-minute special featuring Hawking himself that explores the origins of the universe and how it does or doesn't tie to the idea of divinity. Best to smoke something strong beforehand. ANTICIPATION: HEATED!
TY'S GREAT BRITISH ADVENTURE – 8:00PM Sunday (ABC) Presumably as payback for sending America Jamie Oliver, ABC sends "Extreme Makeover" nutjob Ty Pennington over to England to help rebuild a community pool and confuse and frighten poor British townsfolk with his terrifying enthusiasm. Why is he yelling? What's he doing with that hammer? BLIMEY! ANTICIPATION: CULTURE CLASH!