Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and plan your summer vacation. Oh, yes. Who’s taking a blissful week off from saying stupid things about TV shows? THIS GUY. LET’S GO!
62ND ANNUAL PRIMETIME EMMY AWARDS – 8:00PM Sunday (NBC) It’s the annual broadcast of TV’s answer to the Oscars. For some reason, I never consider the Emmys to be anywhere near as important as the Oscars, perhaps because voters seems to choose the same winners three years in a row before moving on to a new set of winners to pick three years in a row (SHALHOUB!!!!). It can get repetitive.
But, when you think about it, the Emmys should be MORE prestigious than the Oscars. TV surpassed movies in quality a very, very long time ago. How many good movies have come out so far this year? Two? Meanwhile, flip on your TV and you get “Louie,” “Mad Men,” “Breaking Bad,” “Parks and Recreation,” and a whole host of other engaging stories. The Emmys should matter more, at least more than they do right now. Right now, the only people who care about the Emmys are TV writers still bitter that “Buffy” never won anything. There’s gotta be a way to make these things mean more. I’ve got it: MORE OLD ACTORS IN THE FRONT ROW WEARING SUNGLASSES. It can’t possibly fail.
Your host tonight is Jimmy Fallon. No word on if he’ll be forced to welcome a bloated Axl Rose to the stage. ANTICIPATION: WINNERS!
CASINO ROYALE – 8:00PM Sunday (ABC) Say, you know how I said TV was way better than movies? Well, that’s only true if the TV show in question is NOT the Emmy Awards. Otherwise, I’ll take Daniel Craig doing Parkour up a construction site. BOOSH! ANTICIPATION: CONSIDERABLY!
MAD MEN – 10:00PM Sunday (AMC) We need to start some sort of campaign to save Sally Draper. Every time I see her on camera, my black heart breaks into about a thousand pieces. Poor, confused little gal. She just wants to be loved! And man, her mom turned into a BEAST! She threatened to cut off Sally’s fingers last week. That’s just wrong. ANTICIPATION: MELANCHOLIA!
LAST DAY OF THE DINOSAURS – 9:00PM Sunday (Discovery) Scientists examine the global catastrophe that led to the extinction of all those cool dinosaurs. Scary to think that all it takes is one event to wipe out an entire species, and that we’re probably the next to go. Unless Hasselhoff hosts a tribute concert in the middle of it, in which case the volcanoquake will quickly cease its ingress. ANTICIPATION: ROAR!