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Wednesday Watch List: St. Patrick! South Park! Smack!

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Wednesday Watch List: St. Patrick!  South Park!  Smack!

AP

"South Park" will take a swing at the Tiger Woods scandal.

Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV that you can watch while scraping yourself off the floor of the bar and cleaning the sawdust off your face. Another successful St. Patty’s Day in the books! LET’S GO!

SOUTH PARK – 10:00PM (Comedy Central)

The season premiere! And not just any season premiere. It’s also the Tiger Woods episode! BAM! Instant comedic gold. This week, all the boys are treated for sex addiction. So long as I don’t have to watch a Mrs. Garrison sex scene, I’m totally there. Thank goodness “South Park” is back. Finally, Matt Stone and Trey Parker are here to give me precise instructions about how to feel about a cultural event. I would be utterly lost without them. ANTICIPATION: SUPER CEREAL

AMERICAN IDOL – 9:00PM (FOX)

Ke$ha performs and I curse her for putting that “TiK ToK” song in my head for 6 hours a day. Can’t… remove… it. CRIMINY! At least she brushes her teeth with a bottle of Jack. A redeeming quality if there ever was one. Also, tonight one of those goofy kids gets the gong. My vote: Andrew Garcia, the kid who can’t wear a hat properly and BUTCHERED “Gimme Shelter” last night. Oh, did he murder that song. Just stood there like a lump and sang it like it was a song about a pony. Not only should he be booted, but we should sic the Hell’s Angels on him. That will teach you to mess with a classic, young man! ANTICIPATION: SATISFACTION

MODERN FAMILY – 9:00PM (ABC)

Minnie Driver and her extremely wide face pop in to play Claire’s friend/rival. For real, you could host a screening of “Avatar’ on that face. ANTICIPATION: PHIL RULES

HOARDING: BURIED ALIVE AND ADDICTED – 9:00PM and 10:00PM (TLC)

Hmm. I liked these shows better when they were on A&E and called “Hoarders” and “Intervention”. How dare you, TLC. How dare you try and nick some of A&E’s market share in the precious “mental illness reality show” market? Is nothing sacred? Well, I’ll still watch anyway. At least there aren’t large group of children involved. ANTICIPATION: GUTS WRENCHED

WHEN IRISH EYES ARE SMILING: AN IRISH PARADE OF STARS – 8PM (PBS)

Pulitzer-prize winning author Malachy Mccourt writes and produces the nostalgic parade of Irish favorites, like "Too Ra Loo Ra Loo Ra,"It's a Long Way to Tipperary" and "Danny Boy." ANTICIPATION: I'LL BE PASSED OUT

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