Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV tonight that may be worth staying in and painting your toenails for. How do they give the polish color such cute names? Tiny Winey? DELIGHTFUL. LET’S GO!
WINTER OLYMPICS - 8:00PM (NBC)
TONIGHT! Lindsey Vonn goes for her third medal of these games in the Gold Medal final of the women’s giant slalom event. For those of you unfamiliar with the giant slalom, just know this: It’s not as giant as Super giant slalom, but it’s more giant than regular slalom. It’s the slalom Goldilocks would prefer.
Also tonight: the Gold Medal finals of women’s bobsledding. Watching bobsled events always makes me wonder: what would happen if you went down one of those tracks on a saucer sled? Would it take 10 seconds for you to be horribly killed? I think that’s the max. What if I went down the track on my butt? Would that be safe? Because I’m so tempted to do that. I’d also like to water slide down one of those tracks in the summer. You tell me that wouldn’t be the awesomest water slide ever. ANTICIPATION: VONNERVESCENT.
AMERICAN IDOL – 8:00PM (FOX)
The 12 final men sing. Suddenly, Ellen loses interest. ANTICIPATION: KARAOKAY!
THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE – 8:00PM (CBS)
Has any female celebrity aged better than Julia Louis Dreyfus? Ever? The woman is nearly FIFTY. Holy smokes. Back in her Elaine days, she was merely cute. Now she’s a stone cold vixen. Either she uses Pearl Cream, or she has the best plastic surgeon in the history of the practice. You tell me. Pearl Cream is made from real pearls, you know. ANTICIPATION: THE REAL COUGAR TOWN
FACES OF AMERICA WITH HENRY LOUIS GATES – 8:00PM (PBS)
The Harvard professor explores, in depth, the stories of some of our most fascinating Americans, and makes a serious correlation between their personal histories and the history of our great nation. Tonight’s profiles include Meryl Streep and… Eva Longoria? Really? Well, forget everything I just said. ANTICIPATION: BARBARA WALTERS’ REPLACEMENT HAS BEEN FOUND
MOST DARING – 9:00PM (TRUtv)
A 14-year-old girl threatens cops at gunpoint. Oh, kids these days… ANTICIPATION: YOUNG GUNS