Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you sit at home and wonder how that dude who butchered “Beautiful Day” managed to win “American Idol.” I’m moving to Costa Rica. They never play Hinder’s music there. LET’S GO!
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE – 8:00PM (FOX) Oh, so you REALLY think you can dance, do you? Well, you ain’t seen NUTHIN’ yet! Anyway, FOX’s popular dance contest arrives just as “Dancing With The Stars” is leaving us. Because heaven forbid you ever go a week without televised dancing. DANCING IS LIFE. Anyway, I’m hoping for lots of toned bodies in very light amounts of clothing. This is why dance shows will always be with us, people. ANTICIPATION: CHA CHA CHA!
100 QUESTIONS (PREMIERE) – 8:30PM (NBC) This new sitcom is about a girl named Charlotte who takes a 100-question compatibility test for a dating service. Each question she answers serves as an episode theme, as Charlotte hearkens back to some times in her life. It’s just like “Slumdog Millionaire,” if the slumdog was a rich white girl living in Manhattan. Anyway, I have two questions about this show. First, are online compatibility tests really 100 questions long? That’s crazy. What is this, a government security clearance interview? Why do I think the folks at eHarmony will take your love of long walks on the beach and sell it to the highest travel service provider? Second, any girl that takes a half hour to answer each of those 100 questions is someone I would avoid like the clap. I bet she owns a cat. ANTICIPATION: YUPPIFIED!
FLASHFORWARD (FINALE) – 8:00PM (ABC) It’s the final episode of this would-be “Lost” successor that never caught on. Anyway, tonight the flash forward day arrives, and that day is… April 29, 2010. Dude, that was a month ago. Your flash forward is dated and useless now! I already know what happens on that day! Justice Sotomayor met with kids from Paint Branch High School! What does it MEAN? ANTICIPATION: FUTUREY!
HOLLYWOOD SALUTES MATT DAMON – 9:00PM (ABC) Uh… isn’t Matt a little young for this honor? ANTICIPATION: CLIPPY!
SUNS/LAKERS – 9:00PM (TNT) Pivotal Game 5 in a 2-2 series. All Game 5’s in a 2-2 series are described as “pivotal”. It’s just the word you use. Sure, you could use “leveragey,” but no one would take you seriously if you did that. ANTICIPATION: SUPER PIVOTAL!