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Steve Carell Remaking Rock Doc About Super Cheesy Songsmith

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    NEWSLETTERS

    Eager to hit the ground running once he's wrapped his final season on "The Office," Steve Carell has lined up a film in which he'll star as the man who had a hand in writing one of the most wretched songs to ever top the Billboard charts.

    Carell has hired Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley to adapt the documentary "Of All the Things," about '70s pop songwriter Dennis Lambert, who charted more songs than anyone this side of Lennon & McCartney, but whose solo debut "Bags and Things" was met with utter indifference.

    Despite having previously penned hits like "Ain't No Woman (Like the One I've Got)" and the unforgivable "We Built This City" -- which even Lambert acknowledges is pretty bad -- response to "Bags" was so bleak it drove Lambert into the real estate business, but his fame improbably never waned -- in the Philippines.

    "Dennis left the music business and was selling real estate in Florida when he was told by a Filipino promoter that he's still huge there because  his album had been so successful. The promoter begged him to tour," Daley told Deadline. "Finally, in his 60s and 20 years removed from the music business, Dennis says yes and suddenly he's playing packed 10,000 seat arenas. The movie will be about what happens when a middle-aged guy finds himself a rock star who realizes dreams he never got to live out."

    So Dennis' son Jody made a documentary about his father's bizarre journey to the Pacific, where he was greeted "like Britney Spears," a story that Carell will now bring to a larger audience.

    Frankly the idea of Carell singing fills us with dread.