“Goon” International Trailer Confirms the Worst

To preface: I am a dyed-in-the-wool (sweater) hockey fan. A true puckhead, who knows his Staals from his Stolls and his Lubomir Visnovskys from his Vitaly Vishnevskiys.

So watching the first look at the upcoming Seann William Scott/Liev Schreiber hockey comedy "Goon," I'm well...I'm disappointed.

Look, it's not like I expect every movie to be "Miracle" ("Keep your glove up..." Man, did it suddenly get dusty in here? Sorry...look away...) and I know this is meant to be a comedy, but it still plays to a distorted view of the game that became outmoded right around the time "Slap Shot" closed the book on the notion that hockey is nothing more than MMA on ice.

True fans know that fights are a part of the game, not the entire game (not to mention that this summer has seen three former NHL tough guys die in tragic circumstances possibly related to their taking blows to the head for a living, which has placed the role of the goon in a much different light). And casual fans...well, they don't think about hockey at all. So who is this made for? Fighting all but disappears come playoff time, when the stakes are highest - do you see fans fleeing the arenas in disappointment that players' blood isn't being smeared across the glass?

With the next entry in the "hockey goon" movie coming from Kevin Smith (his proposed two-parter "Hit Somebody"), the horizon is bleak. Sure, Smith's a fan of the game, but he's also....Kevin Smith. So...yeah.

Anyway...the ONLY thing we'll give this trailer is, well, Liev Schreiber's sporting a 'stache that would make George Parros proud.

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