Levi Johnston's full frontal affront is the cruelest joke of all time. The hockey-playing hunk should be ashamed of himself and needs to rectify this grave injustice by immediately canning his manager/chief liar Tank Jones and stripping down for Playgirl tout de suite.
"He did not give 'full-frontal' as his manager Tank Jones reported he would," said Playgirl spokesman Daniel Nardicio said. "We're thrilled with the photos we got and are confident people will love them. Although there may be glimpses, we did not get full on frontal nudity."
"Glimpses"?? Tank assured us that Levi was going to let everything "hang out" -- and we bought it wholesale. He led us on like some john in a jiggle joint who thinks he's special because the prettiest stripper in the place is grinding up against him. We feel so used.
The spread now sounds like it amounts to nothing more than a low-budget shoot that makes a pitiful attempt to ape high fashion. WIth a hockey stick. So maybe it's just downright tacky. Once you've made the leap to posing for a nudie mag, there's no point in hedging your bets. You've got to go all in.
Straight Take: New York Daily News
