New York Women Too Wily for Bret Michaels

Permatanned bandanna-wearing 'Rock of Love' singleton reveals why he has to beg the ladies of Gotham for sex

By ELIZABETH BOUGEROL

Updated 12:31 PM EST, Tue, Jan 6, 2009

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As Rock of Love goes, we kind of tuned in for five episodes (we were in an airport hotel in a boring city, okay?) and then tuned back out after Angélique left (ICYMI, she was the French chick with the glued-together face and sketchy porn-star past - some of the best TV we've ever seen, frankly). But Bret Michaels has still not found "love," and thus the third season of his VH1 mate safari rolls into our living rooms this week with The Rock of Love Bus. The bus part is new. It's like Bret is on tour, see, except that instead of sharing the road with a passel of drunk bandmates and unshaved roadies with donut crumbs on their pants, he's crammed in with 25 identical-looking women all angling for a shot at the Mandanna. Genius!

Anyway, we're not sure how we missed this interview he granted to Time Out where he talks about… well, he talks about a lot of things, including a scene from the new season which he describes as "something is slid up inside, and other girls take shots out of the glass that was up the wazoo…" Right. So, that aside, he reveals that while New York is a veritable incubator of hot women, he has a tough time convincing them to get horizontal. Why, you ask? Because "they're really smart, and they've got me figured out." Bret has apparently had to toss his bag of tricks aside and resort to groveling, "I'd like to stay here and have sex with you, if that's okay." Poor Bret! Luckily, other cities are teeming with dim bulbs who think the road to happiness involves new boobies and a ride on the Bret bus.